There's been a considerable amount of blog brouhaha over what sounds like the newly budding romance between the lovely but loopy Winona Ryder and her co-star, that ravishing rogue Keanu Reeves. Recent reports have them hugging on set, which leads me believe they are as good as married (forgive me, but some of us still have high morals!) Two gorgeous, young-ish Hollywood screen stars find a summer love...it's simply meant to be, mais non?But wait just one hot minute, as I'm staring to feel a wee bit faint. Let me fan myself and try to focus- must focus...so warm, so woozy! Am I sitting on my desk lamp, or is it deja vu? Didn't our little Winona already DO this same big screen horizontal tango, way back when in the 1990's, when I was but a tiny hateful thing?! Could it be?
Egads! As Grandma Barber would say, the proof is in the pudding. And this little pudding has a history of romantic shipwrecks that beg for inspection. Let us then commence the BWE.tv list of the Top 10 Dating Disasters of Winona Ryder.
10. Winona & Johnny Depp
Public Proof of Courtship: They co-starred in 1990's Edward Scissorhands.
Fun Love Fact: He got a tattoo that read "Winona Forever" during the throes of their oft tumultuous courtship.
The Bitter End: After they separated, Depp had the tattoo changed to read "Wino Forever". Convenient if he decides to start dating sassy souse, Amy Winehouse.
9. Winona & Blake Sennett (of Rilo Kiley)
Their Shared Past: Both were teen celebs, she in 1986's Lucas and he in Nickelodeon's 1991 Salute Your Shorts.
The Bitter End: After music industry wags buzzed that the couple was engaged, Winona quashed the romance rumors once and for all.
8. Winona & Matt Damon
Their shared past: Well, a-DUH. Ever heard of a little thing called, THE MOVIES?!?
Couples Skate: Winona & Matt & Gwyneth & Ben- Yes, Paltrow & Affleck- were a super-quadruple power quad about town- until everyone broke up with everyone (and hopefully, went straight to the clinic for tests- I'm JUST saying). Which leads us to...
The Bitter End: Matt seems to have been stepping out with the lovely, if not Muppet-sounding, Penelope Cruz, thereby ending their much ballyhooed engagement.
7. Winona & Adam Duritz (of Counting Crows)
REALLY?!? No, I mean, REALLY?!? This guy managed to pull Jennifer Anniston AND Winona Ryder? Someone explain this to me...Sideshow Bob, ladies? Sigh. Let's just move on.
6. Winona & Beck
Fun Love Fact: Once spent a romantic week in an Irish Castle.
The Bitter End: Never really delved into...but perhaps the fact that Beck is a Scientologist and Winona is not had something to do with it?
5. Winona & Michael Keaton
Public Proof of Courtship: Both were in 1988's Beetlejuice (Director Tim Burton keeps bringing the love connections!).
Fun Love Fact: None. He was 37, she was 17. Statutory! Statutory! Statutory! OK, I'll quit it. But seriously Michael, she was just a girl, interrupted! OK, OK, for realsies this time.
The Bitter End: I'm thinking it was when Child Protective Services was called in? No? Oh, alright then.
4. Winona & Courtney Love
Fun Love Fact: Did they date? Probs not. But fun is so a no go without our boozy old pal CoCo- Love, that is! Consider this infamous, only slightly-less-Algonquin-than-Dorothy Parker statement, uttered by Ms. Love herself: "You’re no one in music until you have feuded with me or until you sleep with Winona." 'Nuff said.
The Bitter End: Both ladies were cold out of cuckoo pills when their shared shady druggie doc Jules Lusman got his rear end hauled to court.
3. Winona & Christian Slater
Public Proof of Courtship: 1989's teen cult flick Heathers.
Fun Love Fact: Lately, the train wreck that is ass-grabbin', shot takin' Christian Slater has been telling the 'razzi that he never got over his puppy love for our No-no. Awwwww!
The Bitter End: I think it's when Christian got all blowed up in the end of Heathers. Well then, let's just pretend it was, shall we?
2. Winona & Dave Pirner
Public Proof of Courtship: He played Janeane Garafolo's loser date, she player Janeane Garafolo's loser roomie in 1994's Reality Bites
Fun Love Fact: In a chivalrous moment, Pirner puffed up his chest feathers and displayed against Les Claypool of Primus in protest of the band's song "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver". Dave retaliated by singing a song in concert subtly titled, "Les Claypool's A Big F@*#ing A$@hole". Ah, romance!
The Bitter End: Again, none too evident...that is, considering that soon after making Reality Bites, No-no started filming The Crucible. Which leads us to...
1. Winona & Daniel Day Lewis
Public Proof of Courtship: 1996's The Crucible. Sorry, Dave!
Fun Love Fact: DDL, as we call him when we're hand-crafting shoes together, met his wife Rebecca Miller on the set of a film...
The Bitter End: ...called- yes, you guessed it- The Crucible. Yee-owch!
Downright Creepy Love Fact: DDL will be working as a carpenter on the set of the next movie his wife Rebecca directs, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee...which co-stars none other than Winona. And KEANU! Seriously? What is this, a fractal or something?!? My head hurts!
Over-acheiver readers: Feel free to utilize the comment section for anyone I left off such as- David Duchovny, Conor Oberst, Pete Yorn, Evan Dando, Rob Lowe, Jimmy Fallon, Dave Grohl, Ryan Adams...I think I need to go take a very, very hot shower with lots of anti-bacterial Dial. Guh.
